Confessions From A Wife Of A Snoring Husband

 

Couple hand together touch with love vintage filter tone.

Sometimes a girl just cannot get a peaceful night’s sleep! The nights with greatest promise are often interrupted by the subtle beginning of a “snore fest.” My husband, Chris, begins like a gentle house cat but often ends up like a lion’s thundering roar! Tossing right and left while pressing the pillow over my head cannot muffle his deep sleep symphony. The longer I listen the more frustrated I get. I have been known to kick him (gently of course) in hopes of ushering in some ever-elusive silence; however, it usually leads to another performance. Since putting my pillow over his face is still illegal in every state and territory, I’m left praying for peace, endurance, love, patience, and self-control.

Can you relate? Are there things about your spouse that drive you a little crazy? Habits that resonate like fingers on a chalkboard? Everyone does! But sometimes life can bring us to a place of fresh perspective. With one major life event, my disdain was transformed to appreciation.

A few years ago, I found myself sitting next to his bed in the ICU. I never imagined my 42-year-old husband would have open heart surgery–but there we were. Seeing him labor for each breath as he worked off of the ventilator, I prayed to hear him snore beside me in bed once again. (No kidding… I really prayed this.)

Everything had changed, and nothing had changed…except my perspective.

During those laboring moments of silently waiting for updates from the doctors, I pondered things what I had taken for granted concerning Chris. Things like him making my breakfast each morning, arriving home safely each night for dinner, flirting with me in the kitchen as I cook, making me laugh with his witty charm, listening to me rant about my day, and yes, his snoring, too. All of that was now a heartbeat from being stripped away from my life. The reality that “we are not promised tomorrow” sinks in like never before.

What might you be taking for granted?

  • Assuming that you have tomorrow to make things right with your friend?
  • Making that much-needed phone call to a loved one?
  • Sharing the gospel with someone God places in your path?

Scripture offers great wisdom concerning our tomorrows:

Don’t brag about tomorrow,
since you don’t know what the day will bring. Proverbs 27:1 NLT

Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. James 4:14

It is a difficult but necessary realization that tomorrow is not a promise for us. When we become comfortable in the assumption that there will always be a tomorrow, we often miss the value of our moments with family, friends, or loved ones.

In the ICU that day, once the ventilator was removed and we could speak, he soon fell asleep. Sitting next to Chris with a sense of relief, I heard it; A subtle snore! It was music to my ears; A melody I vowed to never take for granted or become aggravated with again. It reminded me he was alive. It meant he was breathing. (Okay, breathing loudly). It simply testified to another day of life together with him. Tears of gratitude streamed down my face.

What aggravation do you need to re-evaluate? Maybe it should become something for which you are thankful.

  • Clothes being left on the floor?
  • Lunch boxes needing to be prepared?
  • Last minute school projects?
  • Empty milk cartons left in the fridge?

Perspective. Often times it comes down to that. I’d love to say that I sleep peacefully every night and snoring is a faint memory, but I still find myself with a pillow over my own head. Now though, I consider that this mild interruption is a reminder of life and all the good that it brings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 Venues God Uses To Strengthen My Marriage

Church PictureAs the wife of a Pastor I have many opportunities to minister alongside my husband, such as: funerals, weddings, and biblical counseling. God uses these three venues to strengthen my marriage.  It is strengthened when I am reminded of the “value of today,” recalling my vows to my husband, and renewing my commitment to simply not quit.

  • I grieve with those at funerals that are saying good-bye to loved ones. I cannot help but remember those that I also have said good-bye to. But in this difficult time, God is faithful to be the light so that I can see His goodness. He is faithful to see us through the days ahead. I am reminded that I’m not promised tomorrow; therefore, today should be valued as treasure.  Today is a gift and every day I have with my husband evokes thanksgiving. Today is a gift that I do not want to overlook complacently, or take for granted. So, as I listen and watch him officiate at (too many) funerals, my appreciation and love for him grows ever deeper. My marriage is strengthened.

Maybe if we took “not being promised tomorrow” as the REALITY THAT IT IS, we would reconsider how we choose to live today.  Today is the day the Lord has made so let us rejoice and be glad in it and embrace the gift that it is. Time.  Time with our loved ones.

  • When it comes to weddings, it is fun encouraging brides “to be.” I love watching them standing at the altar dressed like a “princess” as they gaze into the eyes of their “love.” Weddings tend to make me smile while simultaneously shaking my head as I recall two teenagers (my love and I) saying “I do” over 27 years ago. I am reminded of what we have been through and the difference it makes when we fight “clean” verses “ugly.” (You know, having a mature conversation verses acting like we are in middle school.) I am reminded that when we love Christ more than each other, it keeps us on the path together.  My vows were to love him in sickness and in health until death do us part. (I admit sometimes we have almost been the death of each otherJ.) As I listen to my husband share a word with the couples he marries, leading them in their vows, and pronouncing them husband and wife, I find my heart saying “I do” all over again. Every time! My marriage is strengthened.

Maybe you need to reflect on what God has brought you through and the day you said “I do.” Let it encourage you to persevere and reject giving up. Maybe you need to date again… reigniting that “old flame” for one another that has grown dim.

  • My husband and I also offer biblical counseling from time to time. Often we find that couples think they are the only ones going through their particular situation. The truth is “there is nothing new under the sun.” The enemy uses the same tactics in every relationship. Walking through difficult times with other couples prompts me to reassess my relationship with my spouse. Am I respecting him? Do I choose to be forgiving rather than condemning? Am I choosing to talk rather than withdrawing? Am I loving him as I love Christ? If the answer is no then it is time to strengthen my marriage. If I do not, I can be certain that the enemy is trying to tear it apart.

Maybe you are in a dark season in your marriage relationship and need to be refreshed. Know that you are not alone and that God is “for” your success. Maybe you need to assess where you are so you can strengthen what is being torn apart.

Always be encouraged. Not just in good times but in hard times as well. In this New Year commit to find the value in each day, hold firm to your vows and commit to never quit.  I know it is “easier said than done,” but God will be faithful to see you through.

 

 

Perspective from the stands

bandLast night was our high school’s final home game of the regular season. The excitement was thick in the nearly packed stands. At the same time the night provided a silent air of sorrowful reflection. As the final home game, it was “Senior Night” where the graduating class (players and Band) were recognized for their accomplishments and applauded in their future aspirations.

In the midst of great celebration, there was one special recognition that brought a reverent and reflective silence.  A young girl (one of school’s recent alumna) had lost her fight with cancer.  Her life cut short at such a young age reminded all that we are not promised tomorrow. (James 4:14)  The moment of silence was heavy and everyone stopped to acknowledge her life and to applaud her prolonged fight and resolve to LIVE every day of her life.

The game must go on! Boy what a difficult transition! We grieve the loss of life but we must continue to find joy in the life yet to live. Life must go on!

This brought to my mind the truth of how as interconnected beings, we as a “body” suffer together.  The principle of 1 Corinthians 12:26 came to mind: “If one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.”

Our team was not performing as well as hoped for and the game seemed to be a struggle most of the night. The spectators remained in the stands, hopeful the team would pull it together.  There were the predictable “ups and downs” but there was one special moment that brought us to our feet!  Our team recovered the ball!football 2

I was so encouraged at how those in the stands were willing to cheer the team on as if to say, “See you can do it, we believe in you!” Then HE caught my attention! A “precious needs child” stood to his feet and looked around trying to understand what was going on.  I saw it connect in his eyes when he realized…and then he ACTED! He turned back to face the field and began to yell out, “Woo Hoo!”

The excitement of the crowd had drawn him in and drew him away from his preoccupation with his “tablet.” It resonated with me… We, collectively, have the power to lift others up or to bring others down. Our choice in any given situation is contagious. All around us are “little eyes” watching and “little ears” listening…seeking to know how they should respond! Oh, the truth of this should prompt us to be ever so careful what we do, knowing they will mirror us, for both good and bad. We demonstrate before them how to live the life we are given, however long or short.

I wish I could tell you that our team won last night, but they did not.  WE lost! We still applauded the players. We will still get up and go see them play next week in the playoffs, because life goes on!

football 3